God bless the news and it's abundance of ridiculous bullshit news stories... even when they're unfortunately true.

Once again the Government is taking money from it's loyal fucking civilians to pay foreigners to fuck ass about on our soil. Let's give it up for them, once again. Nothing is funnier, more entertaining or more PATHETIC than our useless fucking Government's crazy little antics and schemes!

This time Bangers & Mash... sorry... I mean the Australian Government - I always get them confused, must be the rhyming names (?? hmmm...) - have decided to PAY Indian journalists way while they stay Down Under. Treated to such royalties as 5 star hotel accommodation, free tickets to an Indian music show (wait, do INDIAN'S even wanna see that!?) and some fascinating tours of Melbourne!

TOUR GUIDE: "TO YOUR RIGHT YOU'LL SEE THE BASE OF OUR FAMOUS SKYSCRAPER... THE RIALTO TOWERS!! ISN'T IT EXCITING! *coughs*... and-to-the-left-you'll-see-the-chalk-outlines-of-another-brutally-beaten-Indian...*coughs*"

Excuse me... *knocks on Mr. Rudd's forehead while wearing knuckle dusters* FUCK FACES! I know when it's come to social skills, manners, charm and anything that would define a human as unique or full of personality, Indian's are totally lacking, but this doesn't mean they're fucking stupid. Even the stupid Indians would look at this pathetic attempt to butter up the Indian media and think *in funny little Indian voice :)* "Come the fuck on... we're looking for the realities of Indian life in Melbourne. Not this fucking special treatment bullshit!" *sits back and enjoys spa in hotel room* "Ahhhhhh... Thank you! Come again!" Hehe. Sorry, I had to add that in. What? I'M racist!? Fuck YOU! YOU'RE racist for hiding what you're thinking and pretending that's not funny! Now fuck off somewhere else and go whinge about someone smoking or some other fairy shit. For all those who chuckled:



If Indian's think Australia or Melbourne is racist because some Indian's have been beaten over here (should we look up the official records on just how many people of different races are beaten in different countries each year before we start jumping on that fucking bandwagon!?) well then fucking let them. Shit, we could certainly do with a little slow down in the rate of Indian's coming to Australia. It's getting to the point of madness. Soon enough it'll be Indian's hanging up on Australian's making annoying phone calls from call centre's in New Delhi!

CALLER: "I was wondering if you're happy with your current phone service provider?"

BLUDGE: "I was but I'm not anymore..."

CALLER: "What current issues are you having with your phone service provider?"

BLUDGE: "They're allowing pieces of mango shit like you to call me!"

*HANGS UP*

BLUDGE: *lights up crack pipe* "The nerve. Some people are really fucked up..." *tokes on crack* Ahhhh...

If they think we're racists, then let it fucking be. For fuck's sake, if they really want to come here, they will. But don't you dare take the fucking money I have given to you in trust that you'll use it on what's right for the benefit of Australia's people without even so much as holding a vote. I'm fucking sick of this country being described as "free" and "fair". If it was fair we'd be given a choice on whether or not to support some of these legislations and bullshit like paying $250,000 for some fucking Indian journalists to have a free holiday and leave totally unconvinced we're not racists. $250,000 down the drain and we have over-crowded hospitals, low police force numbers and a dying Murray River.

How come whenever I applaud the Government lately it's always followed with "clap, clap for the handicapped"? Oh, because they're the Government is the most useless collaboration of the dumbest fucking organisms on this planet.